1. I am grateful we are able to book our summer vacation today.
  2. I am grateful I feel so good today.
  3. I am grateful to be at home with hubby and Kiara.
  4. I am grateful for my job and my great boss. I am blessed because I know many are not so fortunate.
  5. I am grateful we are one day closer to spring!

I decided to put more effort into a bigger garden this year. I ordered seeds online and they came in yesterday, so this weekend I will be getting them going. Tomatoes, cucumbers, kale, spinach, three bell peppers (yellow, orange, red), and carrots. Also going to plant lettuce and herbs, but not sure if they’ll be in containers or out there with everything else. It feels wonderful knowing I will be free to spend more time on this. In the past I was always consumed with whatever side gig I was trying to do, so gardening was seen as more of an annoyance. I will enjoy the process of tending to the garden – such a meditative process really.

Since letting go of the need to actively pursue a full-time art career I feel so much lighter. I feel calm. I am genuinely thrilled at the thought of just taking an afternoon to read. I am delighted to be able to draw and paint without the pressure of having to get it right, or to hurry up and produce as much as possible. I am genuinely happy. Letting go has opened my eyes to the world around me instead of the narrow focus of me and only me and whatever “dream” I was chasing. I place dream in quotations because with each endeavor I have undertaken (the writing, the t-shirt business, the need to pursue a full-time art career) I labeled it “my dream” when in reality none of these were what I was after at all. What I really wanted was financial freedom, along with be able to do work I found intellectually stimulating. I thought by working for myself both of these desires would be met. I thought by forcing them they would come true. Not so – at all. Being an entrepreneur may bring financial freedom at some point, but there is a whole helluva lot of work to get there. And the work really never ends. The truth is my current job already does provide me financial freedom. I do very well for myself already and I’d be a fool not to be grateful for it. And for the intellectually stimulating work, while my current job may not always provide this, I am now free to engage in all kinds of learning. I LOVE learning! There are SO many things I want to do in my life, so much I’ve put off in pursuit of someone else’s dream, that learning all things that interest me will provide all the brain food I could ever want.

But the biggest lesson learned since letting go of my dying “dreams” is that I am enough. I am enough as I am right now. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. I don’t need a thousand likes on social media to tell me I’m good enough. I don’t need the approval of strangers to tell me I’m talented, or that I have a great life. I know these things already. I am enough – the greatest lesson I’ve ever learned.

Peace, love, happiness, and harmony always.

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