One thing is certain about myself – I get bored easily. Going to change the format of these posts a little bit by eliminating the gratitude portion and include more insights and thoughts about art and creativity. Yesterday I spent about six hours doing art – a first for me. Normally I’m only able to steal an hour or two at any given time. Then I read a line from some essay/blog post (honestly can’t remember) that said (paraphrasing) that to do the things we really want to do we need not FIND the time, but MAKE the time to do them. This is an important concept to grasp: finding the time means everything else in your life is taking precedence over the thing you want most. Whereas with making the time, you are carving out specific time to do thing you love/want most, while everything else follows behind. Honestly, this isn’t a new concept for me – I’ve always known this. But old habits die hard – it was always easier to place art (or writing, or whatever) last on my to-do list because it seemed like a luxury. But there will always be something that needs attention around the house, regardless of how caught up I feel with the to-do list. So yesterday I put everything aside and just did art. And it was nice. I admit at times I found myself getting impatient (as I do) over minor issues while painting (the color wasn’t flowing right, the paint was lifting because I didn’t allow enough time for it to dry between layers). And when I caught myself getting tense, I literally stopped, took a deep breath, and refocused. So what if the paint wasn’t flowing right? After it dries, you can just paint over it. And what’s the rush? Just start another painting while you wait for this one to dry. So simple, yet I allow myself to succumb to the pressures from my ego to always be perfect, who then pushes, “While you’re at it, hurry the hell up!”
Once I realigned, getting into the creative flow was immensely relaxing. It’s amazing how time flies when I’m in the flow – the six hours flew by, and I enjoyed every minute. The second image below is one of the new paintings I’m working on. I love painting island landscapes and sea life – it brings me to absolute serenity.
People ask if I can paint things other than tropical scenery. While I can certainly try, frankly, I have no interest in doing so. Does this reduce my ability to make money or garner a larger fan base? Possibly. Do I care? Nope. In my year of authenticity, I must always remain true to myself and do only what resonates with me. And in doing so, I will attract those who feel the same and appreciate the work I do and enjoy the fact I specialize my art. Makes us both happy! So each Monday I have off (which is every other Monday) will now be dedicated solely to art. I will also make time for it during the weekends as well, if even only for an hour. Hubby always steals away time for himself by playing guitar, video games, or playing softball and baseball, so why aren’t I doing the same for me and my art? Slow progression is better than no progression at all.
I am grateful for the great workouts from the past few days. It feels SO good to be getting back to normal. I am grateful for the vibrant sunrise this morning, grateful I am able to witness such perfection. I am grateful for the bit of spring cleaning accomplished this week. Lifting dirt from out-of-reach places and clearing clutter does wonders for clearing the mind. I am grateful to live a drama-free life. I see others around me live lives that resemble the worst daytime soap opera or Jerry Springer episode and I am SO thrilled to be distant from all of it. Peace and harmony rule my life. And I am grateful my vegetable plant seedlings are kicking ass! 🙂 So excited to plant them in May.
Since letting go of the ambitious desire to create my own business I have been feeling more relaxed. But yesterday I started feeling the flutters again of still missing out on something. It’s this elusive “something” that has been picking at me for years now. That feeling that “something” is missing. But what? I’ve asked the universe numerous times to show me what this something is, and I haven’t arrived to a conclusive answer yet. When thinking about what I want to do with myself, the desire to volunteer for wildlife conservation always lights me up, yet trying to figure out the when and how leaves me standing still. I really have a strong urge to travel for a year just volunteering around the world – the elephant sanctuaries in Indonesia and the elephant orphanages in Africa are at the top of the list. I would also love to help with coral reef conservation, perhaps in Fiji. So what’s stopping me? Truth is – nothing. There is no true barrier preventing me from doing this other than the excuse that I have a mortgage to care about and a good job that may or may not be waiting for me when I return. Both are abundantly poor excuses though. I only have this one life, and a passionately strong urge to not regret NOT doing something for the sake of being safe. Safe is comforting at times, but also completely restrictive as well. Safe keeps you from taking the risks that will satisfy your soul. Safe keeps you from experiencing life at its fullest. Safe keeps you from achieving dreams. I want to embrace a baby elephant – and I will! I want to help older orphan elephants in their daily lives – and I will! I want to see this world and breath it in deeply – and I will.
When will I do these things? Soon.
Today is a great day! I am focused. I am happy. I am energized. Peace, love, happiness and harmony always.
I am grateful for the life I have – every moment of it. I am grateful to have a sound mind, one that is filled with love, peace, and harmony. I am grateful to see the good through the bad, the beautiful through the ugly, the right over the wrong. I am grateful to be able to not succumb to the fear, anger, rage that is consuming so many here in this country, in this world.
I decided yesterday to unplug from Twitter for awhile because it’s become a cesspool of fear, anxiety, and an abundance of negativity. Granted, I can control what I look at and have done a pretty good job of cleaning up who I follow, but the ugliness still seems to trickle in regardless. I am not denying what is happening in this country, but putting focus on so much negativity sends my stress levels through the roof. My anxiety puts me on edge and my depression demons attempt to storm back – and I refuse to let this happen. I think what gets me distressed more than those blindly following a fascist are those who have given up hope on progress and good overcoming evil. The ones crying, “The end is near!” and “All hope is lost!” I simply cannot be around this. I cannot tolerate this. Don’t just sit around telling everyone how fucked we are – do something about it. But ultimately, I need to care for my well-being above all else.
I’m usually not this “ranty”, but it’s been eating at me this past week. There is no progress if you live in fear. There is no progress if you hold no hope. My hope is that anyone reading this will kick fear to the curb and embrace positive progress for themselves and for all.
Yesterday I received good news from my orthopedic doctor – no more crutches! Yay! But I still cannot do anything weight-bearing for the moment. I go Thursday for an ultrasound injection into the hip to ease the residual pain I am having (which is from the labrum not the fracture, which he said is healed at this point). Onward & upward! So excited to really being moving forward with this injury. It’s been a complete drain on me physically and mentally.
Yesterday I spent the afternoon doing art – it was wonderful. Started a new larger painting and embarking on a larger colored pencil drawing. The drawing will be a real test of my patience, but I am determined to master it.
Spring isn’t far away now! Woo hoo! I feel a tremendous amount of positive energy at the moment. It’s going to be a great month of progress.
Short and sweet this morning as I have a lot to catch up on with the day job. Peace, love, happiness and harmony always.