Feeling a bit overwhelmed today. It’s the same feeling that always stops by: the one that tells me the life I’m trying to lead isn’t the life intended for me. It’s the same feeling telling me I am capable of so much more. It’s the feeling that keeps me restless. It’s the feeling that tells me it’s time to move on. It’s the feeling that keeps poking me, wondering why I’m not doing something about all of this. It’s the feeling that’s not going anywhere, that will remain as the tightness in my chest, the tears that fall.
I’m in the mood for inspiring words. These are some of my favorite quotes – I hope others find them as uplifting as I do.
“Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.” ~ Unknown (although I believe it’s a Buddhist quote)
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” ~ George Eliot
“If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.” ~ Seth Godin
“Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.” ~ Paulo Coelho (THIS!!!! I just keep waiting because of others. I keep pushing desires and dreams aside because of this. I keep denying myself because of this.)
“Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe
“Work hard in silence, let your success be your noise.” ~ Frank Ocean
“Trust your soul.” ~ Unkown
“I’m restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again.” ~ Anais Nin
“Why can’t I try on different lives like dresses, to see which one fits best?” ~ Sylvia Path (LOVE this one.)
One thing is certain about myself – I get bored easily. Going to change the format of these posts a little bit by eliminating the gratitude portion and include more insights and thoughts about art and creativity. Yesterday I spent about six hours doing art – a first for me. Normally I’m only able to steal an hour or two at any given time. Then I read a line from some essay/blog post (honestly can’t remember) that said (paraphrasing) that to do the things we really want to do we need not FIND the time, but MAKE the time to do them. This is an important concept to grasp: finding the time means everything else in your life is taking precedence over the thing you want most. Whereas with making the time, you are carving out specific time to do thing you love/want most, while everything else follows behind. Honestly, this isn’t a new concept for me – I’ve always known this. But old habits die hard – it was always easier to place art (or writing, or whatever) last on my to-do list because it seemed like a luxury. But there will always be something that needs attention around the house, regardless of how caught up I feel with the to-do list. So yesterday I put everything aside and just did art. And it was nice. I admit at times I found myself getting impatient (as I do) over minor issues while painting (the color wasn’t flowing right, the paint was lifting because I didn’t allow enough time for it to dry between layers). And when I caught myself getting tense, I literally stopped, took a deep breath, and refocused. So what if the paint wasn’t flowing right? After it dries, you can just paint over it. And what’s the rush? Just start another painting while you wait for this one to dry. So simple, yet I allow myself to succumb to the pressures from my ego to always be perfect, who then pushes, “While you’re at it, hurry the hell up!”
Once I realigned, getting into the creative flow was immensely relaxing. It’s amazing how time flies when I’m in the flow – the six hours flew by, and I enjoyed every minute. The second image below is one of the new paintings I’m working on. I love painting island landscapes and sea life – it brings me to absolute serenity.
People ask if I can paint things other than tropical scenery. While I can certainly try, frankly, I have no interest in doing so. Does this reduce my ability to make money or garner a larger fan base? Possibly. Do I care? Nope. In my year of authenticity, I must always remain true to myself and do only what resonates with me. And in doing so, I will attract those who feel the same and appreciate the work I do and enjoy the fact I specialize my art. Makes us both happy! So each Monday I have off (which is every other Monday) will now be dedicated solely to art. I will also make time for it during the weekends as well, if even only for an hour. Hubby always steals away time for himself by playing guitar, video games, or playing softball and baseball, so why aren’t I doing the same for me and my art? Slow progression is better than no progression at all.
Rethinking the format of this journal. By week’s end last week I was emotionally exhausted and I attributed it too a lot of things, one being putting my personal thoughts “out there” for the world to see (even if only one person read it). I believe I will keep the gratitude portion, but then focus more on creativity. Need to put some thought into it.